Rescue a Comma Today

Comma splices—sad. How did that poor comma get there between two independent clauses? What kind of person expects that wispy curlicue to do the heavy lifting of a period or semicolon?

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What’s a comma splice?

Let me give you some examples. You read, and I’ll cower in the corner until I think you’re done. Here goes:

  • Lucy is boring, she doesn’t know when to shut up.
  • Ed is addicted to chocolate, he eats it all day.
  • Walking outside is healthy, it relieves stress, too.

Comma splices may be as rare as a Yeti sighting, but they’re out there. Believe me. There are also some people who don’t think it’s a big deal. It’s true. There are those who insist if the independent clauses are short and are closely connected, go ahead and use a comma. They say it’s no big whoop.

I beg to differ. That’s how it starts, people. It’s a slippery slope. Can’t you see? Who decides what’s “short,” huh? Who decides what’s “closely connected”—some bleary-eyed writer at the keyboard with one, two, three too many martinis? That guy? Huh?

If you are overwhelmed with the temptation to put a comma between two independent clauses, try using a semicolon. You’ll feel better, and so will I.

If you think you may have commas in need of rescuing, visit I Spy Edits.

Read any funny books lately?

“How long is this dystopian ride going to last?” I asked.

“Oh, don’t even say the word dystopian. That is so over,” the young, bright-eyed literary agent told me. “What’s happening now is gritty realism.”

So, imaginary-futuristic-depressing gave way to contemporary-depressing in middle grade children’s books? Sigh.

“What about humor?”

“Weeell.” She scrunched up her nose and pulled her mouth into a tight line. “Humor is a hard sell,” she said. “It’s so subjective.”

But depressing is not. Got it.

Don’t get me wrong. I got into The Hunger Games as much as anyone. And I know readers—teenagers especially—feed off any devastating and gripping rollercoaster of a read. But do people want to read that all the time?

I like humor. Unfortunately, I don’t see enough of it on the bookshelves—for middle grade, young adults, and beyond.

Remember when Oprah had her TV book club? I would look for that little Oprah seal on a paperback and buy it. However, I bailed out early. My God, no wonder suburban housewives drink. Isn’t real life rocky enough without a constant consumption of depressing books?

Not much has changed since my conversation with the agent more than a year ago or even when Oprah first started her book club way back when. Are writers sad and angsty and tragic in general? Or is all that stuff just natural to write about?

I know I might be alone out here in La-La-Happy-Land, but … come on! Where’s your sense of humor, publishers? Writers? Help a reader out.

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Writers: Beware of sound-alike words

Do you know the difference between the words stationary and stationery?

When I edited articles for a parenting magazine, we got a charming piece about thank-you notes and how kids can create their own stationery. Charming. Except the writer kept using the word stationary, meaning not moving. Apparently, she didn’t catch the difference between stationary and stationery—and neither did her spell-check.

Homophones, words that sound alike but are spelled differently, can be a pain (as opposed to a pane). Examples:

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principle – principal

capitol – capital

cite – site

discreet – discrete

enumerate – innumerate

lightening – lightning

canvas – canvass

elicit – illicit

fare – fair

flair – flare

foreword – forward

peek – peak – pique

 Also:

  1. Did she arrive in the nick of time or the knick of time?
  2. He got his just deserts or his just desserts?
  3. I waited with bated breath or baited breath?
  4. The tortoise had free rein of the house or free reign of the house?
  5. Did he wreak havoc or reek havoc?

Answers:

  1. nick
  2. deserts (Surprise!)
  3. bated
  4. rein (I’m not lying.)
  5. wreak

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So, let’s be careful out there. Give your words a double take.

The misuse and abuse of ’s

I interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you this editing reminder: Stop writing it’s when you should be writing its.

It’s is a contraction for it is or it has. Forever and ever. Amen.

So, you would write: The scruffy dog scratched at its fur. No apostrophe. An s would mean: The scruffy dog scratched at it is fur. Makes no sense.

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When to blow off the ’s

Plurals seem to cause the greatest misuse of ’s. According to The Chicago Manual of Style, these plurals should be written with no apostrophe:

  • the three Rs
  • the 1990s
  • IRAs
  • URLs
  • BSs, MAs, PhDs
  • The McAdams (or any family name on your holiday cards or invitation list)
  • As for her grades, she got three As, two Bs, and one C. (Grades are not italicized.)
  • ifs and buts
  • dos and don’ts
  • threes and fours
  • thank-yous
  • maybes
  • yeses and nos

but

  • x’s and y’s and all other lowercase letters (Note: Single letters that represent themselves are usually italicized. The ’s is not. However, italics is not used in these two common expressions: Mind your p’s and q’s. Make sure you dot the i’s and cross the t’s.)

Get it? Good. Write on.

Visit I Spy Edits for copy editing services.